Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Friday, September 9, 2011

The beginning ...

Today God worked His timing as only He does ... and boy do I like to just sit back and watch.  

Yesterday I'd gotten to the end of my professional rope and at the end of the day - well - I'd had it with it all.  Only to face homework on a time schedule because I had to be at parents night and my husband had a church meeting plus there's always that dinner thing and the piano and karate practice and goodness - didn't I just finish my professional day???

Well, my oldest school aged was a whiz at his homework and though we had the usual number of tears - we completed in record time - my heart asks why there are tears required to "learn" third grade??  Then he even completed piano practice through much coaching and example (as if I know how to play) ... and God willing we did the karate form our Master said he had to practice or his testing papers would be revoked.

Sigh - seriously sigh - if this is just the beginning of the year - why is it so tough already...

Then my husband got home and his meeting was canceled - double sigh - he can get through that second song on the piano again and he actually has the musical talent the boy needs ...  then after I made and ate with the boys dinner I left them with my husband and went to parents night and the biggest - THE BIGGEST - blessing happened.  God timed it so that a friend pulled in just as I did and for the first time the whole day I laughed - really laughed - thank you T - beyond words!!

And during open house it turns out I like the current teacher - even if his grades suffer he will learn a ton of life lessons that will serve him well - if only I was a mom who was a stay at home or part time and had time to remind and coax and help more than I can now...

And then at night my youngest CAN NOT sleep because he's so stuffed - so we ( the two of us) "sleep" on the couch so that we are at least upright and then finally I surrender and we both go back to "real bed" 10 minutes to the buzzer.  So I confirm that I will sleep in and work from home.  And again God is good because it's exactly what I need so that I can get my work done with out office and coworker distractions and bond with my youngest and - sleep in.  And receive the message then return the call from the school to get my son involved in the tutoring that is supplied by the state even though he's in private school for math and more importantly reading.  

My question is this - when can I just be the mom that God want's me to be to our boys and the wife that He wants me to be to my husband .... so I ask hubby at dinner when he's going to have to go to the site to start up the reactor and he says sometime mid next year - I can't wait for China - to be all that I can be - all that God has designed me to be - not what we're trying to uphold to "live in this world".

Obviously, prayers are appreciated, even though I'm not feeling like I'm fulfilling much of what's God's calling me to be.  I guess I just have to once again wait on His timing - which is more than perfect, so I'm more than willing - even if I complain along the way.

1 comment:

  1. Don't forget to add .... when can you be the person God wants you to be to you. Your son and husband need you to be happy with you -

    And seems like you have a good handle on all three though.. to me.